Luck, Accidents, & Nothingness

I'm very lucky to know so many great musicians in my life. If I had the resources I would do a record with all of them. Unfortunately I do not have those kinds of resources. That being said, it's very difficult to get anywhere without contacts or resources, and it does get frustrating at times. I have been playing jazz versions of rock tunes in various trio settings for many years, but I've never been able to get my music out there until recently. Other artists have put that out there because they were able to get the help and then, of course, it becomes their concept. Yeah yeah, whatev. I cannot book my group in real concert settings or find any help from management or booking agencies. I understand the situation. What would be the benefit of taking on a nobody like myself?

Too bad, because I will be starting up a new scene in the East Village with a very nice piano and I'm not going to help anyone. Nope. The only musicians that will be allowed to play will be hand selected by me and mostly part of my own circle that I've come to know over the years.

I can't believe the amount of sleepless nights I spend racking my brain, trying to figure out this game. I hear about and see musicians and groups performing in spaces designed for creative music. I know my trio would fit the bill. I know we're good enough at this point. I suppose I'm just not equipped with the proper skills. Maybe its ass-kissing, which is not my forte. Maybe it's better when you're 20 years old. When I was 20 I was pumping gas and chopping ice, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on and how to pay for my piece-of-shit room that I had in some stranger's house. Fuck my 20s! They were terrible.

So now I'm getting into a better position. My record is dong well. I have a trio that just fucking rocks! I play with other musicians that are awesome and I have a regular hit - soon to be more than one. Hard work is slowly paying off in different ways.

I keep practicing when possible and I'm planning another record with the trio.

In the end there is only luck, accidents, & nothingness. Maybe I'm pointing out the obvious here, but hope, fate, karma and all that shit doesn't mean a damn thing. If it did then all those assholes on television wouldn't exist.