OH YEAH

Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up.

- Travis Bickle

ALONG THE RIVER ELBE

I've been out of the country for nearly three weeks and it's always interesting to me how altered my existential perspective gets. Although I long for my home in NYC, I wouldn't mind staying away longer. Perhaps it is the current status of my feelings about my professional life that keep me this way. In anycase, I enjoy the thought of vanishing into some kind of nomadic existence.

There's too much to describe from my weeks in The Netherlands so I'll have to write about it in a different blog.

Many things I always dig about the Euro culture. The food can be had for a bit less (in the real neighborhoods - not the tourist hang) than at home and a notch up in quality, for the most part. The alcohol consumption, namely - BEER!!...is nice and affordable and really fucking tasty! In fact, it's so good that drink it more than wine or hard booze.

My trip here from Holland was an amazing journey through the night, across Germany and into the east. Stopping and passing through Koln, Hannover, Berlin, Dresden and on to Prague, just to name some of the majors. In Berlin my train was split up and half of the train went north to Copenhagen. The other have was set to go south to Switzerland, while my car was coupled to a train of Czech and German cars that would go onto to Moscow, by way of a russian train. Crossing into the east of Europe has been very interesting for me. Walking around the streets of Prague give you a feel of Medieval times, and my fantasies run wild with preconditioned images from paintings, films, and books. I hear the sounds of music from that era as well.

Of course, Dvorak rings through as a central force in later western music and my youth.

The really interesting feeling is when I begin thinking about the hundreds of years before the middle ages that Prague was already a happening city. It is indeed ancient. I arrived by train and so I traveled along the Elbe river in Germany, which forks off into the Vltava river, which flows into the Elbe. As the train snaked its way along the banks of those two rivers I was able to see some ancient castles perched high of the water, literally built on the cliffs. As my train continued along the narrow river, I passed through tiny villages that seemed so quiet. The river valley is very beautiful and I'd love to travel on a motorcycle or bicycle one day.

After a few hours of twists and turns and some cool, small tunnels we were on an extremely modern elevated structure that was just built, and we rolled into Hlavni Nadrazi, the central station in Prague...

SHOSTAKOVICH #5

Indeed one of his most famous pieces Shostakovich's 5th Symphony is an experience never to forget. I had the pleasure of hearing it performed in Nijmegen by a local orchestra. Unfortunately the orchestra was substandard at best. They were struggling with this challenging and mighty mammoth of a piece. The deliberate dissonance that Dmitri so painstakingly placed was unable to be executed. It does make one appreciate some of the great orchestras around the world that pass through NYC. Still, it was impressive to witness an orchestra of part-timers that do this for the love of music and in their spare time, to take on such an ambitious undertaking.

With that aside, I was able to get into moments. Shostakovich was so deeply aware of the harmony thing and his ability to organize the notes for this giant orchestra and reach into his imagination was so movingly expressive. The depth of which his harmony goes is certainly something to strive for as a musician.

The number 5 is a journey of beautiful twists, turns, peaks and valleys, all in the perfect place to keep the listener glued to every note. As he winds us through an absurdly dark and brooding melody of unsentimental sadness (which speaks to me) the piece slowly builds up, with more of the orchestra's colors adding to the richness. Well into the first movement this culminates into a gigantic "FUCK YOU" type of aggressive anger and frustration, but organized into an abstract amalgam that fills my soul.

He plays around and his sense of humor is evident in the second movement, which begins as out as it ends. The third movement is so fucking deep and moving that I don't want to describe it. And the fourth is another big-ass "FUCK YOU" that is amazing and doesn't let you down, right up to the last bang.

Thank you Mr. Shostakovich...

WHERE AM I?

It's always good to step out of one's comfort zone and attempt to gain a new perspective. Here I am in Holland (after passing through Iceland) and, of course, eating my way through the Dutch treats. Tasty as they are I can't help but study the ingredients in everything to compare with products in the US. I will say that there is much less "crap" in their food over here.

I see lots of motorcycles on the road along with the usual lot of cool Euro mini-cars such as the Volkswagen Polo, etc... I dig the driving thing over here.

I'm not working so everything feels more relaxed. I'm sure if I had to work here I wouldn't quite feel this way. The thought of heading back to NYC to my mess of a life over there isn't exactly appealing. The music thing is still in some kind of eternal limbo that renders me unexcited or motivated...whatev. Eternal Stagnation is what I'll call it.

I do miss my street and most of all the CB350. The more time away the thicker the fog becomes and the more I find myself questioning the core of my identity again, which is music. I'll be doing some more traveling around and probably head deeper into the fog and asking myself "Where am I?"