SAME OLE SAME OLE

Being a musician sucks. What a fuck up I am. What the fuck did I do to my mother fucking life?

PATRONAGE

You know I love music. Unfortunately since I've been living it I don't enjoy going to hear it much anymore. It's not the musicians or the music, but the venues. Since they have never given me the time of day or had the decency to answer another man who's putting up the fight for music and art I feel like an asshole every time I step inside a place. I cannot justify giving them my money after such treatment. I understand they need names to fill seats and to make money, but they could at least treat me like a person and not a fucking idiot.

Who cares about one man? I do. It's for me that I must hold to my belief system because after all, what else does a man have?

Perhaps I might feel differently down the road, but for now I do not want to set foot in anymore Jazz venues in NYC. I was a loyal customer for a time, but now it just seems like I'm making an ass out of myself by giving them my money, love or support...

Fuck that.

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AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDIE!!!

A ROUGH WEEK

Phew, it was a rough week in my little musical universe. Some tough gigs and a lot of negative energy surrounding them. I received a facebook invite from Small's Jazz to become a fan of Small's Jazz Club...Umm, I don't think so. Can you imagine? Here is a venue that has repeatedly ignored my requests to perform there for the past decade. They must have about 20 of my CDs floating around. More ego maniacs running the Jazz community here in NY.

I will play the piano in my living room and grateful for my weekly gig at Domaine Wine Bar.

Fortunately I am no longer actively pursuing music on the professional level. My sanity will thank me down the road. Since I am an artist, however, I must remain creative in order to keep my brain from decaying and ceasing; and falling victim to the dumbness of popular culture. I am going to make a feature film. It will be a monumental task that will require an enormous amount of energy, but the thought of it is thrilling.

I am thankful for the friends and kind people around me during this personal breakdown. It has been a bad year, mentally. Things will come around. It's always cyclical in nature, right?