THE LIFE

So it's been awhile since I last posted. I had a good run of feeling very positive about things and thought that perhaps I might really be transcending the darkness. However, these past weeks have been a real challenge for me. Remaining positive and keeping a peaceful balance inside hasn't been on the up. Rather I'm fighting to hold on to the positive energy that I know exists in me because I have been feeling it, and it has lead to external positive opportunities.

I have never had so much music going on in my life. I want to embrace it and enjoy it, but this dark force that has descended upon me has all but sucked the last bit of life out of me. I'll refer to it as a her from this point on. She has drained the positive and brought out the worst in my spirit and soul. She is an evil force - wicked, filthy, and mean. A horrible part of nature and mankind. A stomach-turning infestation of emotion and pain. It has been like no other I've known thus far.

I am not entirely without hope, of course, there is this great organic project that has happened by accident called El Chico Blanco. A peculiar musical force I've never had before. Although for some ears it might be lacking, I find the minimalistic sounds and ideas to be of a very beautiful and harmonious nature. In fact, the more I listen to the roughs from our debut live sessions I find an emotional connection I usually only get from listening to other people's music, not my own. In any case, I am thinking too much about the band as I would like it to just keep moving forward. Forward momentum is the key to growth and maybe prosperity, which is a relative term.

We've got a few cool shows booked and that is what I'm looking most forward to in life right now.

This next month will be a deeply moving time for me and many big decisions will have to be made. I will have to endure the usual anxiety that accompanies that kind of decision making, but I will somehow come out on the other side. I may be covered in ash or mud, but I will emerge in a new way. As we move through the stages of life the underlying philosophies that are personal hold true, but they are not without amendments as experience dictates these alterations. Sometimes feelings can be swayed so far as to reach the realization of never allowing that situation to arise again. It is important to maintain this. To stand your ground at all cost and fight for your true freedom and independence from the shackles that lead you to a most terrible place. A man must not give in to that evil, must understand the nature of things and that the natural law requires unfair treatment.

I say these things and know that deep down in my soul I absolutely must be the dominant force in those situations. My treatment towards the force will no longer be that of equal or full kindness. I will still be kind, as that is at the core of my being and I cannot change that, but I will NOT be self-sacrificing or compromising. I believe that this is the true nature of the relationship between forces in the universe, and that equal pressure only breeds opposition.

I still feel that the Existentialists got it right in many ways. Very modern in the idea that information such as science and technology based future thoughts will never be a means towards a positive future for mankind simply because it is irrelevant to the personal modes and feelings that affect our day to day progress, and progress is a most satisfying feeling.

I will write more soon...

El CHICO BLANCO LAST NIGHT OF RECORDING

Well the last night of live recording for my new band El Chico Blanco was loads of fun. Lots of people came out and I think the vibe for future shows is only growing stronger. I have been nerding out big-time with my keyboard setup and soon there will be more! We've got two shows coming up that I'm really looking forward and hopefully more will be getting booked. My keyboard setup with a Nord Electro 3 and Yamaha PSR 273 plus soon a Casio CTK 3000 and eventually some more cool stuff has been challenging to learn how to drive to say the least.

I'm curious to see where this will all go. Music is such an amazing thing!

More to come...