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That is the view from the main ballroom in the Hilton Atirum Prague where I am working. Off in the distance is a rail bridge...actually there are two, but the one far off is how arrived by train from Amsterdam last year. That was a very different experience then this year as my life has taken a full 180ยบ turn. Being in Europe this time around has been a large perspective shift for me. Since I met my ex-wife on this continent, there is a complicated set of feelings that accompany my presence here. Now it has a dark side that has been challenging to navigate through, to say the least.Prague is a very beautiful city, with a far more relaxed and civilized atmosphere than New York. Each morning as I have my double cappuccino, deep orange yolk eggs and a cigarette I can't help but long to stay for awhile. I would like to wander the city alone for a time, and maybe meet some locals to party with and talk about life. Of course the Kafka-esque vibes resonate a bit from my younger days, but the way my life is now I don't have too much attachment to any of that. Yes, I love culture and art and all the great things humans do, but I've always been fascinated with the normal daily life of a city's population...To wander out of the tourist zones and absorb the personality of a place. I met an interesting girl on the plane and it would've been nice to spend some time in her Prague. I am here for work (thankfully working) so it is a bit difficult to get any down time away.
The amazing thing is how I don't have much of a desire to go home. Since flying solo in life I'm no longer looking for any obligations or big compromises that often come with a relationship, and my overpriced apartment (although I love my home) back in NY is not very appealing considering the responsibilities I need to maintain. Perhaps I should just let it all fall apart? I suppose I might be able to find a room in the neighborhood where I live, LIC. Is that really worth it anymore? Does any of it matter? One must have larger goals to pursue in this life.
Anyway, back to Prague; The street scenes are nice. Beautiful old buildings line the streets and the laid-back atmosphere certainly puts a different spin on life. Everyone is busy, but not plowing each other over or butting egos in the way that I'm used to. I think my solo life has brought me to a place in which my personal mode of existence hasn't been working in that a satisfactory pursuit of life work still only manages a part-time piece of my days.
I wish I had some more time here. Maybe I should cancel that return ticket and stay for awhile...
