tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8239217562578625742011-09-09T08:03:53.572-04:00rants &amp; raves <br>from a <br>struggling <br> musician<br> &amp; filmmakerPIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.comBlogger821100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-74581228266172597862011-07-19T01:35:00.000-04:002011-07-19T01:35:03.110-04:00

Been some time since my last post... Looking back on the past 15 years of pursuing the piano there lies a set of complex feelings with regard to my relationship to it all. It is apparent that the guilt I have for relinquishing myself from musical endeavors will always haunt me. I am at a loss. Actually, many things have been lost these past two years and it is unfortunate that in some way the

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-70061054480054238102011-02-23T20:45:00.002-05:002011-02-23T20:59:49.576-05:00

So here I am two days before the 9th anniversary of my father's death. What has happened to my perspective I could never have predicted in a million years! Friendship has taken a turn towards alienation. Upon helping a close friend I've learned quite a bit about what is real. I put myself in a position of unconditional giving. I gave all I had at a time when my own life was in pieces. It was a

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-81748574432306566552010-08-21T02:21:00.001-04:002010-08-21T02:22:42.722-04:00

I don't know what is going on anymore. The days keep blending one to the next. I feel like there is no end in sight and I'm very tired. This vortex I'm in is twisting me into a grotesque, unpleasant figure. I cannot lie anymore! I cannot put on a happy face for everyone. I want to get out of this life but am unsure just how to do it. It is getting so bad that I cannot frequent the places I loved

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-82721356332625978542010-08-17T14:29:00.001-04:002010-08-21T02:24:51.556-04:00

Well, after passing my recent August birthday I'm once again reevaluating my existence thus far. So I've suffered a great loss by way of a separation from my wife after ten years this year, back near the end of December rolling into 2010, and it has been nothing short of a gigantic mountain to climb. Then months later in July a very dear childhood friend lost his future wife unexpectedly in a

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-89143145416696038702010-07-29T01:35:00.001-04:002010-07-29T01:40:08.308-04:00

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-25647449622706239152010-07-12T15:59:00.000-04:002010-07-12T15:59:57.781-04:00

ah, the universe...it expands like my mind into a blackness...a void...burn that spirit...oh yeah, feels good to inhale. where's my vodka? work, work, work and it's time to play...go away u rotten bastards - wear those filp-flops and walk like the fucking sissy-asses that u r! tower it up, yo! fuck fuck fuck!...where has the creativity gone? no time for that shit, gotta survive and move on. life

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-44253161676328250152010-07-07T15:57:00.000-04:002010-07-07T15:57:02.108-04:00

My electric band El Chico Blanco will be playing a bunch of sets on July 17th at The Cave. It's gonna be an interesting experience and hopefully a crazy party that goes all night. At midnight exactly we will improvise for 96 minutes to the movie TRON from 1982. I'm looking forward and curious what kind of music will be created. We also have a special guest LPS, scratchin with us and he'll even

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-28514104921114406962010-06-22T07:56:00.001-04:002010-06-22T07:57:17.339-04:00

That is the view from the main ballroom in the Hilton Atirum Prague where I am working. Off in the distance is a rail bridge...actually there are two, but the one far off is how arrived by train from Amsterdam last year. That was a very different experience then this year as my life has taken a full 180º turn. Being in Europe this time around has been a large perspective shift for me. Since I met

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-32597448287379462112010-06-08T18:14:00.000-04:002010-06-08T18:14:11.236-04:00

Over time things keep changing. Sometimes that change brings you to a place that is nothing you could have ever prepared for. Constantly asking myself what happened, where did I go wrong, where did things fall apart. It seems that as we move through life different things fall apart. Then we move on to another place. For me right now, I'm neither here or there...In fact, I feel like I'm not

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-78622193917563676602010-05-22T22:05:00.001-04:002010-05-22T22:09:58.208-04:00

So it's been awhile since I last posted. I had a good run of feeling very positive about things and thought that perhaps I might really be transcending the darkness. However, these past weeks have been a real challenge for me. Remaining positive and keeping a peaceful balance inside hasn't been on the up. Rather I'm fighting to hold on to the positive energy that I know exists in me because I

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-86947013147004544292010-05-05T11:27:00.001-04:002010-05-05T11:28:13.819-04:00

Well the last night of live recording for my new band El Chico Blanco was loads of fun. Lots of people came out and I think the vibe for future shows is only growing stronger. I have been nerding out big-time with my keyboard setup and soon there will be more! We've got two shows coming up that I'm really looking forward and hopefully more will be getting booked. My keyboard setup with a Nord

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-76335199535135553722010-04-16T01:27:00.000-04:002010-04-16T01:27:06.431-04:00

Well through all the craziness that is going on in my world right now I'm happy to report that music is keeping it together for me. Since making a decision to really focus on music, which is what I do in this life, I'm beginning to see some improvements. I am slowly booking more gigs and will be playing with Anthony Cekay's quartet at the end of the month...The music of John Coltrane. I've also

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-30483762096278211202010-04-02T00:38:00.000-04:002010-04-02T00:38:37.910-04:00

What an excellent shot by Arianys Wilson at the LIC Jazz Fest 2010. It was tough navigating that piano and the sustain didn't work, which made for an entirely different musical expression. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed the event. On another note, I'm still fantasizing about upgrading my piano. There are so many high-end pianos that I would love to play on in this town. Soon I will get there. I

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-74560964462054103932010-03-29T00:12:00.001-04:002010-03-29T00:14:18.980-04:00

Wow, wow, wow...is all I can say. Today I had the good fortune of making music at the LIC Jazz Fest 2010. The first of it's kind and hopefully not the last. This was such a great experience on so many levels. I have to say that Gus Rodriguez and Richard Mazda get a special thanks from me for producing the festival. From the moment I arrived and entered the lobby area of The Secret Theatre I began

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-26264315296892122722010-03-15T00:05:00.001-04:002010-03-15T00:06:21.372-04:00

I'm pretty happy to be a part of this event. My friend Gus Rodriguez is producing it and he contributes to the community big-time already. I feel very fortunate to be part of a neighborhood like LIC and have made some very good friends here. With life's unpredictable sadness and twists it is at least something to look forward to. I hope people will come out, pay the 17.50 and check out all of the

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-79346139284676825742010-02-20T14:42:00.000-05:002010-02-20T14:42:09.512-05:00

A man must do what is necessary in order to achieve peace and stability. This is something I was not very good at. Is it too late to make a change? Is it too late to gain control over the rest of my life and bring calmness to my inner self, and live a more enjoyable existence? Is it possible to shed some innate negative personality traits and try to look at the half full glass? I believe it is

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-43605147141238857912010-02-20T14:35:00.000-05:002010-02-20T14:35:19.418-05:00

How is it these emotions can be such a powerful force? I cannot sleep I cannot eat I cannot focus I am a warrior who must fight according to my gut. There is a spiritual awakening, not it the religious sense, but in the metaphysical sense. Something must be able to work things out.

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-59652605675919406742010-02-16T14:07:00.003-05:002010-02-16T14:18:17.752-05:00

Coming soon, El Chico Blanco - A new band that has formed out of the Tuesday night Domaine gig. We are currently mixing an album that was made for Domaine Wine Bar and will begin booking gigs. It is myself on piano/organ/keys, Anthony (Chico) Riscica on drums/percussion, Geoff Gersh on guitars, looping pedals and effects. It is a really cool project that I'm having lots of fun with. I am looking

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-72148351142929713522010-02-16T13:17:00.003-05:002010-02-16T13:23:29.956-05:00

This pic of Mars took me to a place that seemed so much bigger than the problems of the day or the mundane life experience. It is so beautiful and I'm fascinated by the feeling. I wish it would last. I would love to do a Sci-Fi feature film one day that could encapsulate the total experience of universal feelings with regard to our place in the world, and the beauty that does truly exist in

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-34090392519666252612010-02-15T04:18:00.002-05:002010-02-15T04:26:24.972-05:00

OK, so now it's time for me to really pay the price of pursuing art music. I have been desperately trying to find a job. Even when I do, I won't be able to pay for the apartment I'm in and so will have to sell my piano and move out...Possibly of the neighborhood. My marriage is coming to an end, and I now find myself with absolutely no resources. The debt I have accumulated (largely as a result

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-71211003187759357422010-02-09T17:47:00.002-05:002010-02-09T18:02:52.872-05:00

Well, I almost quit music entirely again. Once you've hit rock-bottom it is challenging to distinguish good and evil. I think I'm realizing that music is an amazing thing, and that it presents itself in many forms. I am now feeling that I should pursue whatever kinds of music I enjoy at a particular moment in my life. Labels don't work well for me so I have to accept my sort of broadly focused

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-21468331876477946742010-02-09T01:32:00.003-05:002010-02-09T01:46:30.070-05:00

Renewal is not something to be taken lightly. In this life we go through the struggles of maintaining some sort of balance between working and living. With my marriage in jeopardy for the past months it is about time I woke up and kicked my own ass. I was feeling sorry for myself and had deflated my being. I am now trying to focus on the things I CAN do.I haven't been able to earn much money

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-79321478199057750232010-02-04T01:15:00.003-05:002010-02-04T01:25:39.083-05:00

...A new weekly gig I started up on Wednesdays with good friend Adrob playin bass. Met some nice people over there. Classy neighborhood where people read the New Yorker and such. The owner and staff are so nice and I get treated way better than I deserve. On another note, I have never been feeling worse. The blackness is worsening. I think I need to leave society. I cannot deal with it anymore. I

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-60963133727226921612010-02-03T00:26:00.003-05:002010-02-03T01:06:43.053-05:00

Well, I thought I was doing alright. After a tough three days in the studio I am feeling pretty down again. I wonder if I am experiencing those Jungian symbolic feelings of predicting my own death. I am 36, but feel much much older. All those dark secrets of human nature roll around in my head and put me in a spin. My detachment of things and inability to enjoy anything isn't making anything

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-78580782750705997272010-02-01T11:41:00.003-05:002010-02-01T11:45:55.019-05:00

Been in the studio hardcore and going in for day three of tracking. Feel pretty burned out, but whatever. I think we're getting some good stuff, but never sure until after it's all finished. It would be nice if I could earn some money from this shit one day...

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-15650038136861120442010-01-27T11:24:00.002-05:002010-01-27T11:26:48.101-05:00

Played at Domaine Wine Bar in L.I.C. Queens (my hood) last night with Chico on drums and old friend Geoff Gersh on guitars and effects. Was fucking awesome and gonna have him put some tracks down on the Domaine album that Chico and I are doing.

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-50451555618814947232010-01-27T11:20:00.003-05:002010-01-28T18:53:47.005-05:00

Played the Edible Queens Magazine Winter Warm Up with Adrob & Chico. Was a chill gig, but I had a bad cold. It was at the L-Haus in L.I.C. NY and it brought together some interesting food folks from many shops and restaurants in the area.

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-43852905821698802122010-01-26T03:41:00.002-05:002010-01-26T03:46:21.562-05:00

But the work can't be found! That's what my brain keeps saying to me. I'm supposed to be working on a creative project instead of fucking around, working jobs and eating. That's not how I operate. I used to work around the clock on creative things. Now it seems like I'm a vegetable or automaton, if you will. Maybe I'm a fucking ZOMBIE! In fact, I think I've become a zombie. Like those mindless

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-60464798189233942312010-01-18T13:38:00.004-05:002010-01-18T14:05:04.477-05:00

Some recent conversations I've had about music have got me a bit frustrated and I'd like to clear up my opinion and where I stand on the subject of music in the 21st century.Now I am a musician. I have been a Rock, Metal, Punk, Hardcore, Hip Hop, and Pop musician or what I prefer to put into the POPULAR category, because really there's no argument that all of that music is infinitely more popular

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-17830057066266907102010-01-07T16:30:00.001-05:002010-01-07T16:34:53.857-05:00

Anything, anything would be better than this agony of mind, this creeping pain that gnaws and fumbles and caresses one and never hurts quite enough...Jean-Paul Sartre

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-5303374699812020722010-01-03T01:58:00.003-05:002010-01-03T02:09:57.255-05:00

Feeling worse than ever. Not sure what is going on, but things seem to be closing in on me. It is the most awful dread in my soul and blackness is everywhere. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. My script is once again a big mess. Finances are total shit and my personal life is in shambles. Questions of who am I and what is going on. I'm at a loss.I'm hoping to find solace in my

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-43755628485402341502009-12-19T22:58:00.003-05:002009-12-19T23:11:09.135-05:00

I vaguely remember a saying that has something to do with pushing through to the other side, whatever the other side might be. It isn't something that I'm entirely familiar with and now I am knee deep in a seemingly unending pit of shit. For a brief moment I thought I had a goal to look forward to and work towards. Now I am seeing black again. BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACK every-fucking-where.

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-77477510181701720492009-12-01T02:11:00.001-05:002009-12-01T02:15:14.644-05:00

To a New Yorker the city is both changless and changing. -E.B. White

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-25117898560223346912009-11-21T23:52:00.003-05:002009-11-22T00:05:09.279-05:00

Still working hard on this script. First draft done and now refining everyday. This will/can go on all the way until production. How will I get this movie made is the big question. There are many avenues that need to be explored. Most important is too find a producer(s) into making small, dark pictures. It is FAR from perfect but I am feeling accomplished with the completion of such a feat. I'll

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-10788485386199824622009-11-12T14:14:00.004-05:002009-11-12T14:33:14.889-05:00

The other night I noticed a billboard for a radio station here in NY, 96.3FM, which used to be a commercial classical music station that I grew up listening to and so did my dad. It now plays some kind of Salsa music. Although I am guilty of not listening to the station over the past years and I feel that all they were playing was Mozart, and that they, like most radio stations killed themselves

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-37829333320384712692009-11-12T13:50:00.003-05:002009-11-12T14:10:53.424-05:00

So it's been awhile since my last post. Been a crazy month working and traveled to California and back for a video job. Fortunately, before I left I went to see On The Waterfront at the Film Forum with a good friend. The experience was so awesome that it kept me going during the grueling West coast gig. I've seen the film many times, but never on the big screen. My father used to speak so highly

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-25930228042372997932009-10-26T15:43:00.004-04:002009-10-26T16:20:51.713-04:00

I'll admit to watching TV here and there. Mostly at night since I can't sleep or just to go mentally numb so I can get to sleep. If there isn't a film I'm interested in on TCM or IFC I will usually end up on syndicated sitcoms or cartoons. I prefer the older ones, but I take what I can get. As a kid who grew up in the late 80s (and a tiny piece of the late 70s), I have watched my fair share of

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-65523327240015908162009-10-13T11:26:00.004-04:002009-10-13T11:33:21.002-04:00

Managed to get a little script work done last night...Phew that shit is fucking challenging. I mean, challenging to stay on track. I now have to wait until after midnight some days when all the bullshit slows down so I can concentrate. Man, if I had a studio or office to work in that would rock!I love to eat at night, too. For some reason I prefer food late night. I love to drink late at night

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-64503633478684996032009-10-10T21:03:00.004-04:002009-10-10T21:27:36.454-04:00

Jesus fucking christ I can't seem to conjure up those feelings I used to have. I was a workaholic when it came to my art and creative projects. I used to work around the clock. I put more hours into it then any full time job I ever had...And that was often while working a full time job. I've had all kinds of jobs - deli, bakery, gas attendant, driver, auto parts, landscaping, endless retail

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-30495947185017918212009-09-28T19:27:00.000-04:002009-09-28T19:28:43.787-04:00

Being a musician sucks. What a fuck up I am. What the fuck did I do to my mother fucking life?

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-90630840988657914032009-09-05T14:46:00.002-04:002009-09-05T14:51:51.732-04:00

You know I love music. Unfortunately since I've been living it I don't enjoy going to hear it much anymore. It's not the musicians or the music, but the venues. Since they have never given me the time of day or had the decency to answer another man who's putting up the fight for music and art I feel like an asshole every time I step inside a place. I cannot justify giving them my money after such

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-63632467271007420872009-09-04T00:16:00.000-04:002009-09-04T00:17:05.624-04:00

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDIE!!!

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-68947203251607895302009-09-02T15:58:00.003-04:002009-09-02T16:09:32.516-04:00

Phew, it was a rough week in my little musical universe. Some tough gigs and a lot of negative energy surrounding them. I received a facebook invite from Small's Jazz to become a fan of Small's Jazz Club...Umm, I don't think so. Can you imagine? Here is a venue that has repeatedly ignored my requests to perform there for the past decade. They must have about 20 of my CDs floating around. More ego

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-31202343831341176482009-08-25T01:18:00.004-04:002009-08-25T01:38:09.205-04:00

I guess it's possible that I am actually losing my mind, but I hope not. I'm having strong feelings of hate, death, anger, and pain. Letting go of my musical pursuit and endeavors has been like something dying inside me. I remember when i was 23 and I first got a piano and thinking this is incredible! All I wanted to do was practice and practice to try and figure out the puzzle. So many people

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-44109619172617070362009-08-18T13:32:00.002-04:002009-08-18T13:35:40.774-04:00

Now, a lot of you are probably wondering... why Jerry isn't with us tonight. Well, I'll tell you. The fact is he's tied up. I'm the one who tied him. Well, I know you think I'm joking... but, believe me, that's the only way... I could break into show business... by hijacking Jerry Langford. Right now, Jerry is strapped to a chair... somewhere in the middle of the city. Go ahead, laugh. Thank you.

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-81846227523013116042009-08-18T13:10:00.004-04:002009-08-18T13:40:06.895-04:00

Finally working on something of value again. Setting deadlines for myself to finish my current feature film script. Gonna film it myself, since there is no help to be found in my universe to make my art. Fuck it! Still feeling bad about all the time wasted on music. All the dedication to the piano...But at least I learned it; And I wasn't sure I would've been able to do that back in those days,

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-5360954994537427182009-08-10T11:03:00.003-04:002009-08-10T11:07:42.634-04:00

I NEED TO GET A LIFE!! SENDING EMAILS TO NOWHERE IS NO WAY TO LIVE AND ONE MUST DRAW THE FUCKING GOD DAMN LINE SOMEWHERE...

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-22857134478366899232009-08-02T18:55:00.001-04:002009-08-02T18:58:06.375-04:00

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-80754389948313610642009-07-29T22:12:00.003-04:002009-07-29T22:25:35.626-04:00

Hello? I forgot my mantra.from Annie Hall 1975

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-35995766879324953812009-07-25T19:49:00.005-04:002009-07-25T20:03:56.413-04:00

Today I rode by the Steinway & Sons Factory in Queens. I was out on a motorcycle ride with my friend Troy and we had to stop and admire its presence. The history of that place is probably overlooked by many, but it remains a fascinating and extremely important part of my universe. Each day when I play my restored 80 year old Steinway that I am fortunate to own, I have an extraordinary experience.

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-51692041376007842032009-07-25T19:36:00.002-04:002009-07-25T19:45:12.403-04:00

Today I woke up and challenged myself to remain positive. I have fallen victim to the negative and it has just about consumed me. I'm fortunate to have very good people around me that help me to keep perspective on things. My work (creative) is important to me and so I must continue doing it. Perhaps it might make a connection with someone someday. Now I must also consider the practical side of

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-60655214184860156152009-07-24T10:55:00.002-04:002009-07-24T11:02:10.036-04:00

"A hobby should pass the time, not fill it."- Norman Bates

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-20071944217319545222009-07-24T10:41:00.000-04:002009-07-24T10:42:13.681-04:00

Blech...

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-46030598799328896182009-07-22T16:26:00.003-04:002009-07-22T16:36:34.963-04:00

I keep doing all this stuff. I keep trying my hand at mellowing out the creative part of my mind and body. A challenge, indeed! I think the best way to do it is to have zero expectations and keep climbing this fucking giant mountain.AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!Sometimes I just have to ignore those feelings.Tasks? A list?I'm going to make another short film.I'm going to make a feature film.I'm going

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-8807805970873426262009-07-16T17:28:00.002-04:002009-07-16T17:34:06.074-04:00

I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.-HAL (2001 A SPACE ODYSSEY)

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-90086193915066850012009-07-12T19:50:00.003-04:002009-07-12T20:02:04.847-04:00

...but don't want to be anymore. However, I love music and it is in my soul. I feel stuck now that nothing is happening. Have to make it happen. Fuck, how? Madness is inside me! make it stop, stop, stop!! Pain. Anger. Depression. Frustration and despair. How long will this continue? Until I die? Maybe I should let it go. Too much sitting around. Must get out of here. Must escape the ruins of

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-38950874299692134162009-07-11T23:10:00.002-04:002009-07-11T23:32:14.848-04:00

Why is it that as soon as people don't understand something they refer to it as pretentious? AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!True, there is definitely pretentious stuff out there, but much of what people refer to as pretentious couldn't be further from it. In fact, it's a god damn polar opposite most of the time!This word "pretentious" has become to easily utilized. It's too liberally applied, like the term

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-62952392872987300852009-07-03T12:31:00.005-04:002009-07-03T12:41:34.948-04:00

So today I feel a bit better. Don't get it. Music is tough! No it's damn near impossible. Well, not impossible...others do it. Some get lucky I suppose. For the rest of us it's just an endless climb. Got to keep going. Up hill. There must be something at the top. Or maybe on the other side?Maybe not. Is it really all meaningless? Absolutely. Totally fucking meaningless. So why should I bother?

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-77731371609842881312009-07-01T16:58:00.002-04:002009-07-01T17:09:36.530-04:00

Oh man, it comes in waves. It's cyclic and extreme. I'm talking about some indescribable creative funk. Inspiration is hard to come by. Wait...was I inspired? I watched a Hitchcock and got inspired. Too much work. Man, where did it go? It took off and it's out of sight. I'm looking. Searching. Struggling. Desperate for just a little taste of that desire, drive...that power that seemed ominous and

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-80761137589201321012009-06-30T00:35:00.003-04:002009-06-30T01:04:14.614-04:00

whateverwhateverwhateverwhateverwhateverwhateverwhateverwhateverwhateverwhateverwhateverwhateverwhateverwhatever

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-53182875133282329502009-06-29T18:55:00.001-04:002009-06-29T20:16:51.766-04:00

get it for free for a limited time.

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-89387112112192733162009-06-15T21:56:00.004-04:002009-06-15T22:20:08.540-04:00

So it has been 1 year and 8 months that I've been playing every week at Domaine Wine Bar in LIC, which is 1 stop from Grand Central. Every fucking week I'm there with my regular trio (Adam & Sunny) or a different mix of talented players that make up the music community I'm lucky to be part of. I've only missed a handful and recently I'm there on Tuesdays as well, with a different trio. Now if I

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-20390367205255917552009-05-31T18:31:00.002-04:002009-05-31T18:34:36.049-04:00

Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up. - Travis Bickle

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-57162640599448997832009-05-19T08:50:00.002-04:002009-05-19T12:03:22.488-04:00

I've been out of the country for nearly three weeks and it's always interesting to me how altered my existential perspective gets. Although I long for my home in NYC, I wouldn't mind staying away longer. Perhaps it is the current status of my feelings about my professional life that keep me this way. In anycase, I enjoy the thought of vanishing into some kind of nomadic existence.There's too much

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-11967224615729156662009-05-05T16:06:00.004-04:002009-05-05T16:38:50.219-04:00

Indeed one of his most famous pieces Shostakovich's 5th Symphony is an experience never to forget. I had the pleasure of hearing it performed in Nijmegen by a local orchestra. Unfortunately the orchestra was substandard at best. They were struggling with this challenging and mighty mammoth of a piece. The deliberate dissonance that Dmitri so painstakingly placed was unable to be executed. It does

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-72071820838364412922009-05-05T15:49:00.003-04:002009-05-05T16:40:22.405-04:00

It's always good to step out of one's comfort zone and attempt to gain a new perspective. Here I am in Holland (after passing through Iceland) and, of course, eating my way through the Dutch treats. Tasty as they are I can't help but study the ingredients in everything to compare with products in the US. I will say that there is much less "crap" in their food over here.I see lots of motorcycles

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-41180687127284299262009-03-13T09:19:00.004-04:002009-03-15T16:15:21.905-04:00

So I had the awesome luck of picking out a grand piano for a friend who will be opening a new bar in the East Village. With the help of my piano doctor, the Baron von Penta, I found a beautiful instrument. I settled on a Steinway L from the late 70s.It has had all of the teflon removed. A new pinblock has been put in, along with a rebuilt action and brand new Steinway hammers, shanks, and flanges

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-23402354792287995352009-03-13T08:49:00.003-04:002009-03-13T09:24:42.716-04:00

I recently took a friend up to Dizzy's to hear Cyrus Chestnut (p), Eric Reed (p), Willie Jones the 3rd (d), & Dezron Douglas (b) in a straight ahead Jazz setting. It turned out to be a fabulous set. The double piano quartet setting isn't something one gets to hear too often and I was really diggin' it. Everyone played great from the first note and it was a pleasure to be in a room with such

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-82190681467808236122009-03-13T08:17:00.005-04:002009-03-13T09:25:19.221-04:00

I'm very lucky to know so many great musicians in my life. If I had the resources I would do a record with all of them. Unfortunately I do not have those kinds of resources. That being said, it's very difficult to get anywhere without contacts or resources, and it does get frustrating at times. I have been playing jazz versions of rock tunes in various trio settings for many years, but I've never

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-66154716717876442882009-03-01T21:31:00.003-05:002009-03-01T22:12:24.291-05:00

OK. So I do love the piano. I love everything about it. The way it sounds. The way it's built. The people who work on them and build them. The way it looks (save for those awful baroque art case things), sleek and low-key and still modern. The fact that one still has to come up with something interesting using those same twelve tones (when it's in tune) - what a fucking challenge! The fact that

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-50746459046937575702009-02-10T17:45:00.006-05:002009-02-10T18:26:51.542-05:00

Unless I'm missing something here the New York City Jazz venue scene is disintegrating, and largely by its own doing. Hmm, articulating this will be challenging as I don't want to give the wrong impression. If any of you out there have ever made a phone call or done the dreaded "drop off" of your latest album to any of these places then you know I'm not insane when I say that the vibe is so

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-72122916054504623272009-02-09T01:21:00.005-05:002009-02-09T02:11:42.727-05:00

Indeed, I've arrived at a devastatingly difficult crossroads in my life when I should have thoughts like these. The truth is I cannot seem to justify the cost of owning and maintaining my piano anymore. The monthly payments. The chunk of change missing and added to the debt. No, I'm tumbling further into mental collapse and this great instrument sitting in my living room is a constant reminder of

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-55441880174118616452009-01-30T06:52:00.005-05:002009-01-30T07:18:59.617-05:00

I went to hear Keith Jarrett at Carnegie Hall last night and his performance was outstanding as usual. At this point in my life I can't explain or describe much about piano, but I will say that his musicality is of the highest standard. Of course, I also enjoy being in the place with him as he is one of my biggest influences. I think there were 6 curtain calls, with folks kicking and screaming

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-55342547874404379462009-01-27T18:19:00.003-05:002009-01-27T18:56:15.485-05:00

Although I have this awesome piano in my apartment (after many years without a piano at all) I see no more reason to practice. I can't find the energy to sit down and work on expanding my knowledge base. Presenting myself with new ideas that might help advance my skills as a musician or just play a tune or two. I feel pretty bad about it some days, but I think it's just not worth the trouble

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-72773332823075887472009-01-21T11:22:00.005-05:002009-01-21T12:03:34.848-05:00

Been awhile...Feeling like shit about the music business. Probably a mistake to have dedicated so much of my life to it. I think it's time to move on and get out while I can. I don't want to be stuck spending my days trying to practice for some shitty background gig. I don't want to be giving lessons out of desperation that has come because of my choice to hang on to a silly pipe dream and have

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-46371787267709687752009-01-05T20:01:00.005-05:002009-01-05T20:19:18.743-05:00

Charles Griffes composed a piano sonata that I think is killing. More specifically, the second movement from his second piano sonata. The sounds are sad and profound with an introspective feel; Something not to common in today's musical world. I find so much music to be blatantly obvious and of the simple and dumbed down meaningless bullshit. Then again, that is quite obvious and I don't know why

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-67619819035350251802009-01-01T20:46:00.004-05:002009-01-01T21:13:21.261-05:00

Sadly Freddie Hubbard passed away a few days ago in California, near his home. He's contributed countless amounts of great music throughout his life and will be missed.I've been listening to the WKCR 48 hour memorial broadcast of Freddie's music. It has been a wonderful ride with a lot of stuff I haven't heard before. Imagine having recorded enough that a radio station can play your music nonstop

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-25418340903127961092008-12-30T17:20:00.003-05:002008-12-30T17:43:10.225-05:00

ANDREI TARKOVSKY is perhaps one of the greatest filmmakers of all time. The Mirror, a film he made in the 1970s is a beautifully sad exploration of life through the eyes of a boy and his relationship with, as well as his perspective of his mother. Quite bleak with moments of pure poetry and insight into consciousness on a level that only the cinema can obtain, there is no doubt that it is a

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-3274085472659114562008-12-27T22:21:00.003-05:002008-12-27T23:26:09.859-05:00

There are days when I feel that art is dead. Like today, for example.After years of struggle, one often loses the drive or desire to create anything. The struggle to learn the craft ie: piano etc... The struggle to discipline oneself for much needed practice. The dedication, stamina, sacrifice, and plain old hard work can vanish from memory. Some days I forget what I've put myself through to

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-49662936780596644742008-12-24T22:01:00.003-05:002008-12-24T22:14:02.458-05:00

Finally some serious headphones for my ipod. I've been using the Grados for some time now. After discovering the family of Grado headphones I was truly amazed at how well my SR60s performed. For serious listening the Grados blow away the competition.Listening to music without the full frequency range is really not giving the listener the proper experience. I'm sure many audiophiles will attest to

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-72374281804011159062008-12-22T17:30:00.005-05:002008-12-22T17:55:13.431-05:00

For me the holiday season does bring something cool to NYC. Thanks to the good people at WKCR, I get to listen to a week of great music from J.S. Bach. I look forward to it every year and I keep the radio tuned to 89.9 throughout the apartment. Glenn Gould gets a noteworthy chunk of airtime, of course. Keith Jarrett, Wanda Landowski, Rosalyn Tureck, E. Power Biggs, Segovia and many other great

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823921756257862574.post-48849572389649975952008-12-22T01:38:00.003-05:002008-12-22T02:13:17.993-05:00

So the band was hot...And I mean hot. Must've been 1000 degrees in there tonight. Place was full and the crowd seemed into it. It was fuel for some good music making with my trio. I've suddenly transcended the tiny upright console box that struggles to spit out sweet notes while enduring intense punishment under my pounding fists in the steamy bar. I imagined myself at the helm of a Steinway B.

PIANO WARRIORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07195609306243151680noreply@blogger.com0